A New Script

As you might be able to tell from the newly added Twitter updates, things are afoot once more. The 'UFO film' mentioned in the updates - I refuse to call them tweets - is of course our very own Mr Smith, and we are currently working on a new draft of the script in an attempt to get it all going again once Folie a Deux is finished, which should be June or July.

As I may have mentioned, 2009 has been a bumper year for sightings. I wonder how many people have been anally probed? Let's hope the Greys pay a visit to Simon Heffer soon.

UFO Filmed Over Somerset Caravan Park

A video has just been posted online that shows a UFO - of the classic 'cigar' variety - over Brean caravan park, a mere mile or so from where I live, and only a few miles from the caravan park where the real life Mr Smith used to live.

There's a link to the footage here.

Our film is not fiction, I tell ye! In fact it's very reassuring to know that our little story is making national headlines - and we hope the publicity could work in Mr Smith's favour.... Stay tuned for the Mothership landing.

BTW, if you haven't read it, I can recommend Georia Bruni's You Can't Tell the People, which tackles the Rendlesham Forest incident admirably.

And for those of a more philosophical disposition, there's always Patrick Harpur's brilliant Daimonic Reality, which puts forward what can only be described as the Neo-Platonic Theory (and not many people do that). One of the best books every written about the nature of reality.... and lights in the sky. Or cigars, even.

Rumblings

There are rumblings. Not many, but some. Does the beast live? I know not. But things are afoot. (Let's hope it's not a club foot, either.)

Waiting for the Man (in Black?)

It has been rather a long time since I posted anything here. This is due to a number of factors: the various interested parties in Smith have all fallen off the map; only one producer has mentioned the project to me (in late 2006), and hoped that the film would still happen.

In order to not go mad while being told that people will get back to us, we decided that the best thing to do was to go off and make another feature, this time with our own resources that we could control from start to finish. This is Folie à Deux, which is now in post-production, and you can read about it here.

I have also been busy writing a book. On the subject of which, you may like to avail yourselves of copies of the following:

You Can't Tell the People: The Definitive Account of the Rendlesham Forest UFO Mystery

Daimonic Reality: A Field Guide to the Otherworld

The Mothman Prophecies

The Warminster Triangle

The Welsh Triangle

I have also discovered someone who has a copy of a lengthy MOD document on UFOs, which I must investigate. (In fact, there's also quite a good book on the MOD and UFOs, Out of the Shadows: UFOs, the Establishment and Official Cover Up. A bit too skeptical for my liking, being something of a confirmed Patrick Harpur fan.)

More anon.

Truth Stranger Than Fiction etc

Just when I worry that no one will believe that people like Smith and his sidekick Nigel actually exist, this appears in the Grauniad:

The next saucer to Shoeburyness leaves from platform 5 ...
Alok JhaMonday March 13, 2006 The Guardian

"We're getting there." That was the motto of British Rail in its 1980s heyday. But how they thought they might get there will come as a surprise to even diehard trainspotters: a decade earlier engineers had patented plans to transport passengers by nuclear-powered flying saucer, writes Alok Jha .

The plans for the space vehicle were discovered on the website of the European Patent Office by a student. "I thought it must be a joke at first," he said, electing to stay anonymous. "It's the sort of thing you only read about in science fiction books."

His discovery shows that in 1973 an inventor, Charles Osmond Frederick, patented the design for a craft powered by laser-controlled thermonuclear fusion. Designed to reach high speeds in space, it was meant to move us around the globe and even to other planets.

Its "lifting platform" was designed for the British Railways Board and the patent was filed under the name of Jensen and Son. The disc would have had a flat, slightly concave underside, the patent said. "A controlled thermonuclear fusion reaction is ignited by one or more pulsed laser beams produced by lasers and reflected or focused on to a central reaction zone on the underside of the platform."

Unsurprisingly, space scientists have thrown cold water on the designs. Michel van Baal, of the European Space Agency, said the craft would need an "unbelievable amount of energy" to fly. "I have had a look at the plans, and they don't look very serious to me at all."

Patents can be taken out for any type of invention without the need for a working example. Inventors can even patent designs for machines that are physically impossible to build. The patent described a power source that "would enable very high velocities to be attained in a space vehicle, and in fact the prolonged acceleration of the vehicle may in some circumstances be used to simulate gravity". Papers filed with the patent also show detailed cross-sections of the proposed space vehicle and a view of the underside. Dr Van Baal said Mr Frederick's design was based on a fusion process that did not yet exist.

Thermonuclear fusion is seen as a potentially near limitless supply of energy and governments around the world have invested billions in developing it. The latest effort is a joint international experimental nuclear reactor, called Iter, which will fuse a form of heavy water to release energy. Theoretically at least. Unfortunately, any commercial application of the technology is still at least 50 years away, even according to the scientists who believe it could work one day.
Colin Pillinger, the space scientist who led the doomed Beagle 2 mission to Mars, said: "I think the plans are fascinating; it really looks like a flying saucer. Quite what British Rail had in mind I have no idea. It is very unusual ... if I hadn't seen the documents I wouldn't have believed it."
The student said: "The flying saucer looks just like something out of a science fiction comic. It's amazing that British Rail actually developed these plans. They obviously believed people would be transported around space to different planets in the future. Who knows, maybe in the next 50 years they will be proved right."

Unfortunately for Mr Frederick, the flying saucer idea never took off, and the patent has now lapsed.

Berlin

A quick trip to the Berlin Film Festival has seen Smith get possibly a new producer on board. Yours truly also discovered a rather good Irish pub, almost next door to which was a splendid pizzeria. And yes, I did actually see a film as well. More news when we have some...

I took these photos in Weston yesterday as part of a portfolio of images of sample locations for the film that is being sent out to interested parties. This just about sums up English seaside towns in the winter.

Things Are Afoot

Just a quickie to say that honing the script continues and the search for finance... sorry, I meant the Holy Grail, continues.

The UK Film Council have the project now, and we are also presenting it next week at the Co-Production Meetings at the Mannheim-Heidelberg Film Festival. This will be my third visit to Mannheim, and my second time at the Meetings. The first time I had a project selected, a sadly had a producer who did nothing with it. This time I am happy to report that my producer is the brilliant Andre Bennett - who has worked with the likes of Atom Egoyan and Guy Maddin (to say nothing of distributing Tarkovsky and Angelopoulos). Andre's experience at raising money for independent features is proving invaluable. In addition, several UK production outfits are also interested in the film.

When not at the Meetings (17 in 3 days), I will be relaxing by drinking heavily, mainly at Stars, the cocktail bar that floats over the Stadhaus (where the festival takes place) like an airship. Or at least that's the feeling I always get when I'm there. I'm sure this is something to do with the strength of their cocktails. All of them are named after movie stars from the so-called Golden Age of Movies (golden age of American crap if you ask me). I am partial to Fred Astaires. Two of those and you're flying. It's the nearest I want to get to Smith's state of mind.

You Can't Tell the People

I (Herr Direktor speaking) have just finished Georgina Bruni's brilliant account of the Rendlesham Forest Incident, You Can't Tell the People. The title comes from the Great Bitch Thatcher who, when Bruni asked her/it about what she/it knew about UFOs, replied 'You've got to get your facts right, and you can't tell the people.'

The Rendlesham Forest Incident is legendary as being the 'British Roswell', and is generally taken to be a sighting by several USAF men on a night patrol in Rendlesham Forest, which is just outside the former USAF/NATO bases at RAF Bentwaters and Woodbridge in Suffolk. The story goes that, on 27 December 1980, these guys saw lights in Rendlesham Forest and decided to investigate, and apparently they saw a craft land amongst the trees.

Sceptics decry the whole thing as either a deliberate hoax, or that the men saw the nearby Orford Ness lighthouse.

Georgina Bruni demolishes the lighthouse theory in You Can't Tell the People, and also the rest of the sceptics' arguments that somehow everyone was mistaken. (Why aren't sceptics ever sceptical about scepticism?!)

She gets people to talk for the first time, and reveals that there was not one incident, but FOUR, the first beginning late on Christmas Day 1980, and with UFO activity occurring for the next three nights after that. If that is not enough, on the third or fourth night there was a major incident, during which the famous 'Rendlesham Tape' was recorded. This was a tape recording made by the Deputy Base Commander at Woodbridge, Lt. Col. Halt, as events unfolded in the forest. Only 18 minutes of Halt's more than 5 hours of tape have ever been made public, and Bruni states that Halt will NEVER release the remaining material. This was the night during which something not only landed, but was also witnessed not only by Halt, but also by at least 50 military personnel, some of whom seem to have been brainwashed afterwards so that they would either forget about it and/or provide disinformation.

The most disturbing aspect of the book is, however, not the possibility that something very strange occurred during Xmas Week 1980, but the sheer lengths that the British and - more importantly - the Americans went to to cover it up. It struck me yesterday that the cover-up is not so much about aliens / extraterrestrials / ultraterrestrials, but about the fact that if they admitted that something had actually happened, they would lose face. It's all about maintaining one's authority. And, heaven forbid, should the CIA and their cohorts in Area 51 ever lose that.

Mr Smith Goes to the Fatherland

The film has just been invited to participate in the Co-Production Meetings at this year's Mannheim-Heidelberg Film Festival in November. What this basically means is that we sit around a table with interested financiers and get them to write a cheque. Or at least hand over all their Lupins. (We shall of course be travelling there via the Lupin Express.)

Interestingly, this news came through on Friday (19th), the same day that Mr Screenwriter and I appeared in the Western Daily Press, on Geoff Ward's Mysterious West page, standing in front of a caravan in a slightly bemused sort of way, in which we appeal for financing. I mean we appeal for financing in the article, not the caravan, which probably wouldn't get us very far. Then again, maybe come the next Bank Holiday, we could be on Weston sea front in it doing a sponsored scare-small-children-and-hurl-abuse-at-Daily-Mail-readers in order to get the film afloat. Well, perhaps forget the small children. Just line the other fuckers up and we'll be off...

Yes, They're Out There (But not in Cumbria)

Just when you thought that you were making a film that people might not believe was actually true, this appears in the Daily Telegraph (that's the 'London, England' Telegraph for our friends across the Pond):

http://telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2005/08/09/nufo09.xml&sSheet=/news/2005/08/09/ixhome.html

I've not seen any Shadow People in my bedroom recently, but I will post as soon as I have 'an encounter'.

He Lives!

No posts for a while, due to the fact that His Nibs and I have been very busy; more so than usual. Nick's been writing a novel, and I've been writing a book about Tarkovsky. Oh, the things one has to do for money!

But today, as I was struggling with my chapter on Solaris, I received an email of quite tumultuous importance. It seems that the real life Mr Smith is.... wait for it.... STILL ALIVE and STILL IN WESTON-SUPER-MARE!

I had convinced myself that he had either committed suicide or been detained indefinitely by the mental health people, but no, he liveth!

Although our film is only inspired by the real Mr S, we don't want to allows ourselves to be vulnerable to exploiting someone's life without offering them any financial reward. So a great deal of poetic license needs to be used, methinks. The last thing we want is a man who makes David Icke look normal harrassing us for appropriating his life's work for artistic purposes (which of course we aren't, being nice and middle class as we are).

But, again, as with the discovery that the original caravan site still exists, I can't help but think that this is another good omen. I wonder if the Greys and the Nordics are aware that the real Smith is still very much in the land of the living?

The PR Campaign Marches Ever Onward

I was invited onto the Morning Programme with Jo Phillips on BBC Somerset Sound on Monday morning, where I was subjected to something known as 'The Questionnaire'. This basically involved being put in the Comfy Chair, suffering a little prodding with soft cushions and being left there until elevenses.

But I did manage to plug the film, which Jo found fascinating. She made an appeal on our behalf over the airwaves for entrepreneurial support. Cash, in other words.

And there is considerable interest from the Western Daily Press in doing a piece about our travails in getting the project off the ground. Well, it seems to be off the ground, hovering a few feet above it in fact, like a marsh flare (which Herr Screenwriter and I once captured on video) or, come to think of it, a bad smell. I'd better go and open the windows...

Change of film title!

We have decided to change the title of the film, from the somewhat prosaic Mr Smith and the Aliens (many years ago it was Mr Smith and the Flying Saucers) to the more upbeat and unusual (we hope!) The Gulf Breeze Caravan Park UFO Society. The caravan site where Smith lives is called The Gulf Breeze Caravan Park (a homage to the big Florida flap of the late 80s) and he forms a UFO society while living there. Hence the title. Of course it all goes horribly wrong, otherwise we wouldn't have a story.

For those of you who missed Mr Screenwriter on This Morning on Wednesday, all I can say he is came on between clothing that had brown stains on (don't ask!) and a man who drinks his own piss (for health reasons - apparently it's helped him stay off medication). I'm sure we will be on medication by the time the film is finished. But at least we now know the cure...

Mr Screenwriter on This Morning (I kid you not) (no goat pun intended!)

I have to blow Mr Scriptorium's cover here, as he is on the hugely popular UK daytime show This Morning, with Fern Britton and Philip Schofield, to promote his book Urban Legends, on ITV1 on Wednesday 8 June at 1030 (European Summer Time).

Nick will also plug, if he's allowed the time, Mr Smith and various other film projects.

Fuck! The whores we all have to pretend to be. Still, may as well love the whole thing, and take the tantric view (i.e., in the long run, frequent shaftings are good for you).

Mr Smith Goes to Cannes

Part of the inevitable process of making a film is going to Cannes. People who do not have first hand experience of the film industry will generally know it from TV clips of stars walking up the red carpet, or starlets exposing themselves on the beach to crowds of photographers. People in the film industry, however, tend to have a different experience, one that does not include red carpets (unless you happen to bleed all over your hotel room due to some drunken accident/attempt to take your own life) or starlets (unless you happen to drunkenly meet a shemale in a back alley near the train station).

No, experience for people like us is quite simply summed up by two things: sore feet and sore heads. The former are acquired through countless trapes around the bowels of the Palais des Festivals (the place with the red carpet), and journeys up and down the Croisette (sea-front in plain Skegness English) to see numerous persons based in hotels along said stretch of road. And no, they're not high-class call girls or rent boys, but sometimes you think they just may as well be, given the amount they want to charge to interfere with your bottom (metaphorically speaking of course). And the sore heads are due to the copious amounts of free alcohol that are dished out on an almost-continual basis.

So, having braved free bars and bottom-abusers, I spent three frantic days in Cannes talking up Smith. 'Talking up' is an arcane film industry art that, to the non-initiate, may be confused for someone getting a) carried away b) talking bollocks and/or c) getting arseholed and talking any old crap. However, the non-initiate would be wrong to assume any of a), b) or c), as talking a film up requires a) nerves of steel, b) the confidence of someone who knows he's got a very large penis and c) the decorum, affability and sobriety of someone meeting either the Queen of England or at least a local bishop (who may be looking to cook the diocesan books in order to invest in the film).

So, there you have it. That's how to take a film to Cannes. And if you've got time, also dine on a daily basis at L'Avion, 4 rue Jean de Riouffe (near that bloody place with the carpet); it's the best pizza in Cannes.

Research Notes #1

The second draft (the numbering system is already faulty given the number of drafts I've had from Mr Screenwriter over the last week or so) has got me a) thinking - mainly how well it's shaping up and how much this film will hit a chord with people - and b) doing research.

Obviously, Robert Bolt and I have been doing 'research' on this subject for years. In other words, we have both been reading around the whole topic of UFOs and have also had first hand experience of people like Mr Smith. Believe me, I have met people so paranoid there are no words in the Oxford English Dictionary for them. Herr Bolt would agree, as he is the man - out of the two of us - who actually met the real- life Smith. And was perturbed by the lunacy.

But back to my research: I've been re-familiarising myself with the likes of Betty and Barney Hill, the Mothman, etc, but have been freaked out by a very strange alien encounter at South Ken tube station, in broad daylight. A woman asked a little man in a mac with a big head if he was lost, and he replied to her telepathically. This was weird, although she couldn't say later on whether it was all telepathic or not. Anyway. Decidedly odd and no mistake. She felt there was something obviously strange about him, although he wasn't threatening. On the contrary, he was more nervous of her than she was of him. She gave him directions to where he wanted to go - the Science Musuem - but when she followed him, he vanished.

It's funny, we tell ourselves 'we've heard it all before' and 'it's all hearsay' and so on and so forth, but I was quite surprised at how primeval the South Ken thing was for me. Got under my skin. Mainly because it was almost normal. But not quite. I think that is one of the reasons Smith will speak to people. The film is saying, life's weird. Get used to it. And maybe the aliens are just as lost and confused as we are.

Entering The Hidden Library

I have been rummaging through my books for the second draft. Owing to losing my then flat when I made my first feature (it's a long story), I had to hurriedly pack up all my books and get them into storage, where some of them still are, six years later. As Nick is planning a book on cults, and I told him I would dig out a few of my books on this subject, as one of the feature projects currently on the back burner is about an apocalyptic cult living on the north coast of Scotland, and I had amassed a small mass on the subject all in the name of research and being British.

When I entered the inner sanctum (an ancient Pictish burial mound, AKA the basement of a friend of my mother's), I not only found the cult books, but several ancient tomes on UFOs, including Ken Rogers' The Warminster Triangle, which recounts all of the odd activity in that strange part of Wiltshire. It's a classic, full of decidedly odd happenings and even odder people.

The other book I found was one that I had completely forgotten that I possessed, Peter Paget's The Welsh Triangle, which is about the flap of 1977-78. I remember seeing it on Newsround, in fact. John Craven was interviewing school kids somewhere in the Haverfordwest area saying that they'd seen a spaceman in the school playground. Or was it a field? I can't remember. But strange stuff, and no mistake.

Finding these two books is something of a sign, methinks. Precisely what kind of sign, we don't yet know. It could be rude, it could be a semiotician's worst nightmare, or it could be another good omen.

Caravan Site Shambhala

Something quite extraordinary has just happened. Let us hope it is an omen...

Nick was discussing the script with one of his caving buddies, Carruthers (not his real name), over the weekend. He (Nick) said that he couldn't remember where the original Smith (not his real name either) lived. Carruthers (still not his real name) immediately replied that he knew exactly where Smith lived, and, what's more, that the site still existed. Needless to say Nick was dumbfounded that this hazy piece of his teenage years was still there for all to see. Carruthers took him out to the site, which had changed a lot in the last 25 or so years. We have to keep the location secret, for various reasons (actually Maj-12 are pressuring us, as are the Bilderberg Group).

Nick emailed me to tell me all about this, and I was gobsmacked. Yesterday evening, he and I visited the site. I never thought I would see it, in fact, I was sure it no longer existed, as a lot of that part of Weston-super-Mare has been developed massively over the last 10 or 15 years. (New estates are still springing up like mushrooms after rain.) It was a part of town that is, to say the least, grim, as it is near both the airport (disused) and the old town tip (also disused, on which they have built a McDonald's - how apt is that?). It is also near the new tip (smellier than a caver/filmmaker/writer after an evening in the alehouse) and also cut off from the town by the railway line, and right next to a large pond that I wouldn't want to swim in.

It's an odd little world. You can easily feel cut off there, the way I'm sure the real Smith did. But the fact that it's still there is somehow a reminder that Smith's world is still with us, that the outsiders, the aliens/immigrants, the mad, the lonely, are still there. And they still have stories to tell. Perhaps our film will be a way of making those voices heard.

Time (and place) out of joint

The first recce was certainly encouraging. I had wondered whether the place was actually too well-kept to be the base of a ne'er do well like Smith, but Nick was quite taken with the surreality of the place. Believe me, given the number of caravan sites around here, surreality is almost the order of the day.

We were also impressed that the place had portable palm trees, which we want to get into the film. It reminded me of Philip K. Dick's Time out of Joint (ripped off by Hollywood as The Truman Show), where the hero's world is entirely stage-managed by the government. That's paranoia for you! And Smith is nothing if not paranoid, so the movement of palm trees around the site will no doubt be of primary concern for him, and confirm to him that Things are Afoot...